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Yes, you can.

It's your choice.

The walkable way goes nowhere.

Who wants nothing,
can get anything.

When something is born,
let it grow, and let it go.

Small big, little lot,
the might removes the evil.

That's the way it goes.

The book

How to live well. How to be at ease, at peace, without worry. How to be without problems, inconvenience or suffering. How to be good. How to be right. How to find fulfilment. How to be.

These questions can be answered. They can be answered at great length, but also briefly. The short answer is:

     Don't take anything personally.

If you want a longer answer, read on.

Excerpts etc

"A refreshingly honest and unsentimental approach to spiritual development through practicing detachment and calming the mind. A successful and concise guide to overcoming suffering." ‑ Kirkus Reviews

"A useful self-help primer." ‑ Self-Publishing Review

Why is Buddha fat?

Buddha 2.png
First of all, does the statue represent Gautama Buddha at all? Another very popular deity, "laughing Buddha," a fat and happy monk, is not yet the Buddha. According to legend, he was an extravagant monk in China in the 10th century A.D., who later considered to be Maitreya, the future Buddha.
However, there are more interesting questions. Why are such images created and what is their use? What is the meaning of these pictures and statues? Sacred images have many aspects, they are icons or signs representing the holiness. The symbol itself is also holy. The icon represents a figure, but it’s not essential how it matches the original character.

Remaining silent

There are Buddhas who seem to have something to say, but who still say nothing and remain calm. The Pratyekabuddha, literally "alone Buddha, "a Buddha on their own," "a private Buddha," or "a silent Buddha," has reached full Enlightenment, has become Buddha indeed, yet does not teach anyone.

They are mentioned, usually among those who have come to hear the teachings of Buddha Shakyamuni, among others, along with Bodhisattvas, Arahants, Śrāvakas, and others. Pratyekabuddhas are usually considered higher than the Arahants, but generally lower than the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas because they do not teach. But there can be many reasons for this.
First, we may even welcome the fact that such Buddhas can exist at all, even if we don't notice them because they don't signal themselves. We do not know where they are, how many there are, or even whether they exist at all.

But the mere possibility that now, right here, at the same time as us, there may be some real Buddha in this world, a person who has reached full Enlightenment, is great. Maybe we've even met him, walked with him, sat next to him. Perhaps we also know him. Maybe he's your son or daughter!

We may be all born Buddhas, enlightened. After all, the Buddha-nature is in all beings, and it just may not manifest. Young children who do not yet speak often seem to be particularly smart and thoughtful. Maybe the use of words is what prevents our true nature from manifesting.
Tõnn Sarv was born in 1949 in Estonia and currently lives in Thailand.
He studied biology and music theory and has worked as a music teacher, chairman of a social movement organization, and CEO of a booksellers company.
He has been practicing meditation for over thirty years, and is currently living in a Buddhist monastery.
He is the author of 'How to be', 'Learn to say Good-Bye' and several other books on spirituality and self-help.



How to Be: A Guide to Spiritual Development by Tõnn Sarv is a contemplative exploration of life’s truths and how to use them, by someone who has given the matter much intensive thought.

Author Tõnn Sarv outlines how people are caught in a vicious circle: you try to do good, but the consequences may be negative, so gradually you may stop trying. How can you find a workable middle ground? Here are some of Sarv’s suggestions: admit your flaws, learn to live with less, recognize that the “gap” or quiet space may be where things really happen, take things as they are but also begin to regard suffering as “not needed.”

Sarv presents spiritual concepts in a conversational style, quoting at times from Eastern wisdom with no adherence to any one dogma. His simple recommendations seem possible for ordinary people, not just for advanced practitioners of yoga or meditation, so the book should be most effective for those who are new to Eastern concepts. By being honest himself about his own deficiencies, he opens the possibility for personal honesty in his readers.

At times, Sarv’s pronouncements veer towards loftiness, as if the book is the final answer for one’s problems. Though his recommendations may be ultimately helpful, his self-regard may be off-putting to some readers – even if the book’s goal is to aid people’s self-confidence. At its best, the book asks the readers prodding and provocative questions that will help readers hone in on their weaknesses, such as, “If you can’t control yourself…then what can you do at all?”

All in all, the book’s gentle approach to tough love is both easy to understand and to implement, making How to Be a useful self-help primer for those new to spiritual practices, or those who have not found success with other approaches.

Self-Publishing Review

A spiritual development manual uses Eastern philosophy and personal experiences to present ideas about how to live a life of consciousness and fulfillment.

In brief essays on topics ranging from death, needs, intentions, and happiness to laziness, ambitions, forgiveness, and meaninglessness, Sarv (Learn to Say Good-Bye, 2016) explores a plethora of concepts related to life and communication. The purpose of the book is to redirect readers’ thoughts so that they can escape suffering and inconvenience. The author begins by describing consciousness: “We cannot define ourselves, our mind or our consciousness,” he asserts. “Your consciousness is not you. Consciousness is an environment in which the mind can appear.” From the beginning, Sarv’s theory of consciousness and the self is described in simple, direct language. The volume explores the many roots and causes of suffering, taking them apart and questioning whether individuals really need to experience life in the stressful, anxiety-ridden way that many do. The author strongly advises readers to closely observe their moods and the way they may continually revolve around particularly unhelpful ideas. This technique, Sarv suggests, can release unnecessary worries that have become a habit. Readers may have trouble with the blunt nature of the guide. The author himself warns readers that the manual may offend them by suggesting that individuals cause their own suffering. He explains that it is the perceived self—the image of the self—that actually suffers by believing that it has been mistreated, harmed, wronged, or disrespected. But those looking for a straightforward and practical perspective on suffering should appreciate the book’s sometimes-undiplomatic but often insightful passages dealing with self-identity, the false nature of the ego, and the misconception that individuals are separate from their surroundings. Overall, the volume is a refreshingly honest and unsentimental approach to spiritual development through practicing detachment and calming the mind.


A successful and concise guide to overcoming suffering.

Kirkus Review




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